Schools are meant to be safe places where children and teenagers can learn and engage with peers. In the United States, the death rate from school shootings is low, but the risk remains high enough to warrant the implementation of warning systems and drills.
150 students and educators have been fatally shot, and about 300 people have been injured in school shootings since the Columbine High School shooting in 1999.
For educators, principals, and parents alike, reassuring children of their safety at school can be complex but necessary. You may worry that you don’t know how to tackle the conversation in a way that doesn’t make fear or anxiety worse, or you may not be sure how to address the questions children are bound to have.
Learn more about how to talk to students about school shootings to make the conversation easier for everyone involved.
Different Ages Require Different Approaches
When thinking about how to talk to students about school shootings, one of the challenges is that young children and teenagers require different types of conversations.
Elementary students may have different concerns than high school students, and realizing this can help you prepare better for the conversation.
How to Talk to Elementary Students About School Shootings
When speaking to elementary school children, the emphasis should be safety. Children in this age range need to know concrete examples of how the school and administrators are working to keep them safe every day.
Principals and parents can remind students that exterior doors are always locked or that there may be a sign-in desk that anyone entering the school has to go through. If new security systems have been implemented, it can help to run through them with the children in the school so they’re reassured.
Younger elementary school children may not need as much information as older ones. Some parents prefer to let their children know what’s happening around them. If that’s the case, then you want to be clear and use simple language. Focus on reassurance so that children know the adults around them are there to keep them safe.
If you are speaking about a school shooting that recently occurred, you also want to focus on how far away the problem occurred and how the children you’re speaking to are safe at their school.
You may also want to encourage young elementary school children to express their feelings. Learning to identify complex feelings is a crucial lesson that can help children deal not only with the risk of school shootings but with other aspects of their lives as they grow.
For older elementary school children, the approach can differ. You want to start asking the child about what they know about the shooting. It’s likely they’ve already heard about it via social media, television, or older siblings.
Once you’ve gauged how much they know, you can address the event in a calm and simple manner. Be sure not to share unnecessary facts, and try not to bring your own emotions into the conversation. Seeing an adult scared or angry can cause anxiety and make school seem like an unsafe place.
Allow time for questions, though it may take time for them to open up when you first speak with the child or children. Children may need to process the conversation, so you may not get much of a reaction to the news at first. It’s crucial that you make yourself available for them and that they know you’re there if they want to talk.
Always remember that younger children may not want to upset adults by talking about what bothers them, so encouraging them to ask questions and express feelings lets them know that this is not an issue.
If children do have questions during the conversation about school shootings, answer clearly and calmly but without offering too many details all at once. One question can trigger more, so try to slow the process down so that it’s easier for you to answer without overwhelming the child.
As the adult in the interaction, you are in control of how much information you share. Children may ask questions that have upsetting or disturbing answers. You can tailor your answer to be age-appropriate and redirect the conversation slightly. Often, children are satisfied with a simple answer to a complex question.
When talking to elementary school children about school shootings, don’t share pictures or footage.
How to Talk to Middle School Students About School Shootings
When speaking with a child or children who are pre-teens in middle school, you can assume that they’ve already heard at least some information about what’s happened if there’s been a recent shooting. The first thing to do is to ask them how they feel. Consider questions like:
- What have you heard about the shooting?
- How does it make you feel?
- Is there any information you want to know?
The goal is to let them know you’re listening and to actually listen without interrupting them. Once they’ve addressed their concerns and let you know what their take on the situation is, you can start slowly correcting any misconceptions or factual issues about the shooting.
Middle school students, especially older ones, can struggle with crying in front of others. They may not know whether crying or being upset is allowed at their age, so you want to let them know being upset is normal and healthy.
For principals and teachers, the conversation should also address safety concerns students may have. If there are new safety guidelines in place, remind them of what they are.
There are two main opinions about school shooting drills: one that considers them helpful and can assure children there’s a plan in place and one that considers them more stressful and traumatic than helpful. It’s crucial to let children know whether the school will implement these drills or not.
Parents and other guardians should think about limiting media exposure. Scrolling through their phones or watching the news can confuse children more and heighten what they already feel. Misinformation is common, especially during the first few days after a school shooting, so encourage your child to come to you with questions and not turn to other sources.
Don’t try to trick them into spending less time online or watching TV. Instead, explain your concerns and why you’d prefer they choose to do something else. Don’t forbid them from using the TV or their phones.
How to Talk to High School Students About School Shootings
When speaking with middle school students, you want to lead with questions about what they know and focus on active listening. With older children, however, you have the chance to express your own feelings and show your own concerns — just do so in ways that are healthy.
Teenagers are more aware of the possibility of experiencing a school shooting. Trying to make them think otherwise provides no help for anyone. Instead, talk about the safety protocols in place at the school. Ask them about what they think could make a difference in how safe they feel at school.
Not all teenagers will be ready to talk about their feelings. Don’t push them, but let them know that you’re always available.
High school students are also more likely to want to take action. They may ask you what you’re doing to help the problem and what they can do to make a difference. Taking some kind of action can help teens feel more effective and more in control of their surroundings.
Suggest volunteering, putting together a fundraiser for those affected by school shootings, or engaging in activities that help make their own school a kinder, more compassionate place. School officials can also suggest having a rally or a similar event in honor of the affected schools.
This can be an excellent opening to talk about mental health and how unresolved issues and out-of-control emotions can contribute to school shootings. Helping teenagers develop empathy, even for those who cause harm, can serve them throughout their lives though it’s important to stress that explanations for what causes violence are not the same thing as excuses for violence
If you notice a spike in anxiety, sleeping difficulties, or other similar issues, let your child know that it’s normal to feel that way. Be sure to offer the option of speaking with someone about their feelings.
Focusing on Mental Health
Although the focus after a school shooting is on helping victims and preventing similar future events, it is also crucial to know why the situation occurred in the first place. This is where mental health comes in.
School shootings are the endpoint of school violence, stemming from the escalation of the same emotional issues that can lead to suicide, self-harm, and bullying which is why putting an emphasis on counseling and other mental health services at school is crucial.
Importance of Supporting Mental Health in Schools
Offering mental health services at school can help children of all ages have awareness and understanding of mental health concerns. These services can create a more positive atmosphere for expressing when they’re struggling with mental health concerns and encourage them to seek out help when they need it.
Mental health services in schools also help children develop coping skills for dealing with stress and powerful emotions. Not only can these tools help individual students, but they can also make it easier for them to recognize when peers are struggling.
The early identification of mental health concerns can help children of all ages get the assistance they need as soon as possible. Having mental health education services that can teach them to recognize symptoms can help them get treatment before the condition becomes more serious.
The right mental health services in schools can help children and teens improve:
- Decision-making skills
- Development of healthy coping strategies
- Impulse control
- Self-awareness
- Emotional regulation
- Ability to focus
- Flexible thinking
- Positive outlook
- A positive view of self and others
- Resiliency during difficult situations
It can also help them plan goals and take the right steps to achieve them.
Mental health should be a priority even with young elementary school students, offering them the emotional literacy they need to build a strong foundation for continuing mental health.
Importance of Parent Involvement
Students who feel their parents are more involved in their education and other activities tend to have fewer mental health concerns from bullying — including fewer risks of developing suicidal thoughts and harmful behaviors. This is especially true for children in middle school.
Middle school years can be challenging for many children. Middle school is often when bullying becomes an issue and when the first signs of mental health concerns can start.
Parent involvement in school can be as simple as talking about the school day, but some other ways to increase involvement are:
- Helping with homework
- Listening without judgment
- Showing interest in school activities
- Forming relationships with teachers and school administrators
- Encouraging open communication
- Showing empathy during challenging situations
- Demonstrating respectful but assertive behavior
Parents are usually the first to notice symptoms, and they are the ones who will have the most impact on getting children to go to their therapy sessions and engage in the coping mechanisms they learn there.
Consider that not all children will accept a parent’s involvement as readily as others — this can be a particularly tough issue with teenagers who need mental health services. Some teenagers won’t consider going to therapy if their parents demand it from them.
Listening to and respecting the child makes a difference in these situations, but everything must be balanced with risk management.
The level of parental involvement has to adapt to the child’s age and capacity as well as the severity of the issue. Treatment can evolve as time passes, so there’s no need to worry about following a static plan.
Being directly involved in therapy may not be necessary for children to make the most out of mental health services. What’s necessary is for the child to feel supported.
Parental engagement with school officials is also critical for children with mental health concerns. Having an open line of communication between teachers and parents or counselors and parents makes it easier to flag new or worsening symptoms.
It also helps counselors and teachers understand what the child is going through at home so they can better provide the right level of care.
The mental health of parents and caregivers of children with emotional difficulties is another important part of the puzzle. Programs geared toward offering tips and guidance on how to manage their own stress levels can make it easier for them to help their children. Noticing when parents or caregivers are in distress and offering help without judgment is essential.
Turning to Rachel’s Challenge
Improving the mental health of students of all ages is not something that happens overnight. It’s a long process — but it is one that can begin with a single step.
Rachel’s Challenge is dedicated to helping address everything from bullying to school violence in children of all ages. Our programs improve school culture, making school a place that is welcoming for everyone, from educators and parents to students.
Our programs offer help in improving connectivity. Lack of communication between parents and educators, as well as isolation in children, can all lead to serious mental health concerns. When they are left unaddressed, these dangerous issues can lead to school shootings, self-harm, and even suicide.
We formed Rachel’s Challenge to honor the lives of those lost in the Columbine shooting, including Rachel Joy Scott. We offer programs that focus on reducing the sense of isolation that many students experience while also addressing bullying to help create a healthier school environment for everyone.
We offer Rachel’s Challenge live programs that bring age-appropriate presentations right to the classroom and assembly room, sharing Rachel’s story and how each student can become an advocate for a safe and peaceful school experience.
If live presentations are not a possibility, we also offer digital options that can help children of all ages learn about how to make positive changes in their school. It can also be a great supplement after having a live presentation.
Our faculty training programs are another excellent addition, helping teachers and other school officials learn how to foster the type of school environment everyone deserves.
Helping children and teens address the issues that can make school difficult — like isolation and bullying — is what we have dedicated our lives to. Start making a difference by contacting Rachel’s Challenge today to book an event.
